ADDICTED TO "BUSY"

A DAY IN THE LIFE:  husband. two kids. dog. business. friends. social life. errands. soccer. lacrosse. swim practice. birthday presents. after school activities. meetings. workouts. love. sex. marketing.  comedy. positive psychology classwork. social media. spiritual time. reading. fun. cooking. cleaning. traffic. workshops. parents. family. love. joy. self care. bath. grocery store. research. writing. eat. sleep. smile. coaching. planning. recharge time.

The above list identifies my day.  They are not in the order of importance or we all know fun would be first.  Our culture is so busy.  We are frazzled, don't turn off our cell phones, and we are running every which way.  WE ARE DEPLETED.  

Hi, my name is Cyndy and I'm addicted to "being busy."  I volunteer for this group and that effort.  I over-commit.   It's something I constantly work on and have been better until a recent over scheduled Winter season.  I've become a drill sergeant for my kids telling them to get their water bottle, hurry up, we have 5 minutes to get to the afternoon's activity.  ENOUGH!   I'm going down, I'm going TIMBER.  

We would do well to remember that we choose how our day rolls out.  A few years ago I "minimized" for a summer, only doing what I had to do.  I found that I was able to be much more present with my friends and family.  I wasn't scattered.  Using the advice from a woman and coach I adore, Barbara Stanny, she suggested I keep a "receiving journal."  http://barbarastanny.com  I wrote down feelings that I received from my day and it guided me on how I wanted to plan my future.  It was transformative.  And I learned that it is of utmost importance to make time for myself. 

So I challenge you to take a SPRING BREAK FOR THE SOUL and recharge your batteries.  Schedule daily time to take care of yourself. They say teachers teach what they need to learn.  Here I go.  Join me in this effort.

VIDEO:  ASK CYNDY - HOW TO GIVE "OVERWHELM" THE WHOOP POW!

And if you would like more in-person ideas, join me at an upcoming workshop: 

GET UNSTUCK USING POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY WITH A SPLASH OF WHOOP POW Saturday, 3/29/14 in Bethesda, MD, 1-4p.  If you ever feel like life is so busy, you wanna pull your hair out, this gathering is for you.  If you feel frazzled and sometimes stuck on how to move forward, get your bootie in this class.  Join me in this three hour play-shop for some creative ways to problem solve using positive psychology tools with a splash of whoop POW.  Fun is involved.  Hair pulling is not.  For more information and registration:  http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07e90qxl4p2091c367&llr=u87xkypab

Bring on Spring

ASK CYNDY - BEAT THE WINTER BLUES WITH THIS CAN OF WHOOP POW!

Finally, the Spring Equinox is just around the corner on March 20^th.   Cyndy, The Whoopie Queen, is here with ideas on how to shake off the winter blues.  The video above has three quick steps to bring in more sunshine using positive psychology with a splash of whoop pow.

Here are a few more ideas that I'll be sharing on my March Let's Talk Live TV appearance next week:

1. Get Lucky. 

Believe good fortune is coming your way.  St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner which has me thinking about luck.  In the book The Luck Factor there is a quiz and great tips on how to grow your luck.  How you feel about your good fortune influences what comes into your life. Perspective is everything.  See the picture below...turn it upside down.  

2.  Create a Happy Hour.  

The times, they are a changing.  Spring forward is here.  How about using it as a symbol to do something more productive with our time?!  Gretchen Rubin, author The Happiness Project, suggests creating a Power Hour to do forgotten chores once a week. No thanks. I suggest Happy Hour EVERY DAY that is used for self care. Recharge the batteries and reset your happy clock by taking time to call a friend, go for a walk, take a bath, meditate.

3.  Spring Clean Your Relationships.

• Let go of relationships that don’t support your dreams. 

• Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  

 
4.  Grow Something Pretty. 
Here are 33 irresistibly Spring-rific things to inspire you.  http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/irresistibly-spring-diys 

Funny Things Are Everywhere - Dr. Seuss B'day is 3/2

From there to here from here to there funny things are everywhere. - Dr. Seuss.

A
few years ago, I swore off camping after we took a RV trip and our
engine caught on fire in the Blue Ridge Mountains, (insert crazy laugh
here).  The taxi driver who took us back to Cruise America Central was
missing a few teeth, drove with a liter of Mountain Dew between his
legs, and talked incessantly about taxidermy.  No judgement here because
my side of the family, the Cecil side, has a stuffed menagerie of
mounted deer head and large mouth bass.  However, I was not so
interested in hearing cabbie's discussion on the in's and out's of
"ripping the inners."   I would never stuff an animal but might find
enjoyment if someone else did, and hung a funny sign on it at a Nature
Center.  Yes, FUNNY THINGS ARE EVERYWHERE.



If you want to learn more about rules of
the road in a motor home, check out this video.  You'll learn how to do
the RV Stance, take a shower while moving, and suspend reality about
seat belts. 

Camping w Girl Scouts

Yeah, I broke down.  For the love of Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Buddha, and Oprah, I sucked it up and went CAMPING.  IN.  A.  CABIN.   It was for my daughter's Daisy troop.  There were twenty 7 year old's and twenty moms.   A mother's love knows no bounds.

Funny things there:
•  Driving to the hike was exhausting.
•  Seeing a guy hike while holding a beer bottle gave me flashbacks of Appalachia cabbie.
•  A fireplace with a sign that says, "No Fires In Fireplace."
•  Warning the pubescent park ranger to be careful because there were cougars on the loose.
•  Creating a Park Ranger Name formula.  First name is a National Park and last name is an outdoorsy brand.  I'm Smokey Coleman but am fiercely jealous of my friend's more courgarrrific name, Glacier Patagonia.

                   

 Making whoopie is the art of joyful merriment, or being crazy enough to make your own fun wherever you are, even with taxidermy. 

WHY START POSITIVE?

96% of the time the way a discussion begins can predict the way it will end.  

According to relationship expert John Gottoman, he can predict divorce with 91% accuracy after listening to couples for 5 minutes.  He runs the Love Lab and is the author The Relationship Cure and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.  What he found is that a HARSH START UP is an indicator for doom.  Imagine if you applied this theory to all your negotiations at work, with your friends, with your children.  Slow your roll and start up on a positive note.  Want an example?  Check out the video below about a gal asking for advice on how to get her husband to pick up his dirty underwear. 

 ASK CYNDY: 
The Best Way to Get What You Want 

ASK CYNDY fm last week - Get OFF Your Cell Phone

 

Want to be a change agent?  If you are interested in getting a certificate in applied positive psychology, there is a new certification program in New York starting with Emiliya Zhivotovskaya @  http://www.opencenter.org/positivepsychology/. 

Keep The Love Alive

Ok, lovers, here are some ideas on how to keep the love alive for the long haul.  You can watch it (above) or read it (below).  Who loves ya?  I do, that's who. 

YOU MUST SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE and I'm not talking French or Italian.  There are 5 languages of love, according to relationship expert Gary Chapman:  touch, acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, and gifts.  Take their fun QUIZ @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/.  I've taken it 5 times in an effort to be multilingual.  

FRIENDSHIP IS THE FLAME OF ROMANCE:  Whether you are in a new relationship or you’ve been married for 20 years, scientist John Gottman, PhD of The Love Lab has found that friendship is the key for long term success.  When you first start dating someone, you are discovering who they are and it ignites a fire.  When you have been with someone for a while, you have to fan the fire by re-discovering the person.  Date your mate like a new love.  I'm not talking going to the movies.   Try new things.  Go play laser tag, take a class in how to do graffitti art, SHAKE UP THE SPRAY CAN.  Get out of your comfort zone with your partner and get to know him/her in a new way.    Need ideas - https://www.sidetour.com/


GET RID OF THE HOME WRECKERS.  Ok, while I am learning to speak-a the language o love, I've realized I've got a home wrecker in my house.  It is damaging my relationship with my husband and my children.  "You always cut me off."  "You never apologize first."  "You always have to get the last word."  New rule:  Unless you have 20 dates and times to prove your "always" or "never," you can not use them.  Never.  Kiss 'em goodbye.  According to relationship expert John Gottman, there are four horsemen of a relationship apocalypse, and I think bickering-hyperbole should be the 5th.  There are so many nuggets in his books, they should be required reading before marriage and once a year thereafter. 

BE A COLLECTOR OF EMOTIONAL MOMENTS.   So crazy for this phrase from psychologist Ross Parke:  “Life is like a string of pearls…collect those times when you feel totally present and connect with each other on a deep and meaningful level.”   One way to make better connections is to ask better questions.  Instead of “How was your day?” ask specific questions for specific answers. Tell me about your presentation.  Was there a time today when you felt unappreciated?   What was the part of your day that made you feel good? 

If you have more ideas or questions, send them my way... would love to hear ways you keep the love alive. Post your comments below or email me at cyndy@whoopiequeen.com.  And if you have questions, I've got answers on how to live the sweet life using positive psychology tips with a splash of whoop-pow!  Check out my new weekly segment, ASK CYNDY, on my website.  This week, advice on how to deal with a loved one who won't get off their cell phone.   Next week, a question about a husband that won't keep his underwear in the right place.  www.whoopiequeen.com

Happy Valentine's Day!

Cyndy, The Whoopie Queen 

11 Ways to Rev Up the Romance

photo by Sari Fried-Fiori, sffphotography.com

Valentine's Day is just around the corner.  Never fear, The Whoopie Queen is here with ideas to rev up the romance.

Romance is a verb meaning "to woo."   Friends often ask me about how Dan and I keep the fires burning.  We have been together for 15 years and I still feel so lucky to wake up beside him every day.  There have been bumps along the way that include therapy and tears and fighting, and best of all, a deeper connection.  A relationship REQUIRES work.  They say marriage is an "institution" and I respond that people in institutions appear drugged and die slowly.  I want an alternative!  I want a love affair and that doesn't come easy.  It's called keeping the love ALIVE.  The best way to make sure love is in the air is to THINK LIKE A LOVER, not a wife or husband.  Lovers do things to keep interest peaked. They flirt. They text. They call.  They write each other sexy notes.  They make plans to spend time together (without the kids).  They hold a special place of honor for each other.  They are partners.  They get naked.  They have sex.  They woo.

I want to woo you too (not that way) to share what I've learned during the 47 years I've been on the planet.  Starting next week, I'll have a new series that will air on my website whoopiequeen.com - ASK CYNDY, THE WHOOPIE QUEEN.  They are short segments of advice using positive psychology tips with a splash of whoop POW.  This month the topic is LOVE.  Next month's topic is CREATING LUCK & GOOD FORTUNE.  Post your ?'s here as "anonymous" or use a fake name.  And you can always send ?'s to cyndy@whoopiequeen.com .

11 WAYS TO REV UP THE ROMANCE:

1. Leave post-it love notes all over the inside of your lover's car or inside a kitchen cabinet.
   
2. Ask better questions like, "What can I do for you today that will make your life easier and less stressful?"  Then do it.   Here's a great article about other questions that will "save your relationship."  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/the-questions-that-will-save-your-relationships_b_4618254.html
3. Make a playlist for your lover.   http://www.experiencecord.com/artists/our-valentines-day-playlist-new-school-love-songs/ 
   
4. Send a whoopie gram to work - favorite candy bar with sexy note in briefcase.
5. Drive separately & pick each other up at a bar. 
6. Find a funny, laugh out loud card and mail it to your lover's office.
7. Make breakfast for your luvr.  Heart shaped egg in a hole.
   
    
8. Do something different together.  Learn graffiti art, take an architecture tour of Gilded mansions, learn food photography at a street market, paint designer antlers (ha!), have dinner with a director, take a mob tour, and so much more.  Sidetour is a new site that offers unique excursions in lots of major cities including NY, Philly, Dallas, Boston, San Fran and more.  https://www.sidetour.com/washington 
    
   
9. Create a unique keepsake.  Here's a link to a cool photo puzzle http://allforthememories.com/blog/2014/1/20/diy-valentine-photo-puzzle  
   
   
     
10. Send a sext message.  Just do it!  Ok, if you can't sext, send your lover a romantic line of poetry.  For a little help on the poetry front:  http://ingenira.hubpages.com/hub/Romantic-Love-Quotes-for-Valentines-Day AND http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-love-poems.php.  
11. Write SEX on your luvr's to-do list.