Keep The Love Alive

Ok, lovers, here are some ideas on how to keep the love alive for the long haul.  You can watch it (above) or read it (below).  Who loves ya?  I do, that's who. 

YOU MUST SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE and I'm not talking French or Italian.  There are 5 languages of love, according to relationship expert Gary Chapman:  touch, acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, and gifts.  Take their fun QUIZ @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/.  I've taken it 5 times in an effort to be multilingual.  

FRIENDSHIP IS THE FLAME OF ROMANCE:  Whether you are in a new relationship or you’ve been married for 20 years, scientist John Gottman, PhD of The Love Lab has found that friendship is the key for long term success.  When you first start dating someone, you are discovering who they are and it ignites a fire.  When you have been with someone for a while, you have to fan the fire by re-discovering the person.  Date your mate like a new love.  I'm not talking going to the movies.   Try new things.  Go play laser tag, take a class in how to do graffitti art, SHAKE UP THE SPRAY CAN.  Get out of your comfort zone with your partner and get to know him/her in a new way.    Need ideas - https://www.sidetour.com/


GET RID OF THE HOME WRECKERS.  Ok, while I am learning to speak-a the language o love, I've realized I've got a home wrecker in my house.  It is damaging my relationship with my husband and my children.  "You always cut me off."  "You never apologize first."  "You always have to get the last word."  New rule:  Unless you have 20 dates and times to prove your "always" or "never," you can not use them.  Never.  Kiss 'em goodbye.  According to relationship expert John Gottman, there are four horsemen of a relationship apocalypse, and I think bickering-hyperbole should be the 5th.  There are so many nuggets in his books, they should be required reading before marriage and once a year thereafter. 

BE A COLLECTOR OF EMOTIONAL MOMENTS.   So crazy for this phrase from psychologist Ross Parke:  “Life is like a string of pearls…collect those times when you feel totally present and connect with each other on a deep and meaningful level.”   One way to make better connections is to ask better questions.  Instead of “How was your day?” ask specific questions for specific answers. Tell me about your presentation.  Was there a time today when you felt unappreciated?   What was the part of your day that made you feel good? 

If you have more ideas or questions, send them my way... would love to hear ways you keep the love alive. Post your comments below or email me at cyndy@whoopiequeen.com.  And if you have questions, I've got answers on how to live the sweet life using positive psychology tips with a splash of whoop-pow!  Check out my new weekly segment, ASK CYNDY, on my website.  This week, advice on how to deal with a loved one who won't get off their cell phone.   Next week, a question about a husband that won't keep his underwear in the right place.  www.whoopiequeen.com

Happy Valentine's Day!

Cyndy, The Whoopie Queen