Gratitude for Odd Family & Dealing With the Crazy

I hope I don't insult my family by stating this - WE HAVE SOME ODDBALLS.  My grandparents have a house full of taxidermy.  A cousin greats you by patting your booty while saying, "Bless your heart."  An uncle has a special "square dancing name" and wears it on his belt buckle.  A 90 year old aunt declared to all at our last gathering that she wants to have sex one more time.  That's the norm at my family gatherings so you can imagine what a holiday does to the cra-cra factor.  Thanksgiving makes people go nuts.

Disaster and comedy are often part of our holiday meal. When I was a little girl, we were in Tennessee visiting my dad's side of the family near the Smoky Mountains in a little, bitty town called Spring City, next to Soddy Daisy, around the corner from Stump Hollow.  Everyone was chowing on the spread of turkey, fried fish, chicken-n-dumplings and all sorts of non-Pilgrim dishes.  They do a side of jello, cream cheese, with pretzels and throw in some strawberries to call it a "salad." 

My Aunt Patsy was enjoying her dinner when all of a sudden, she started the "I'm choking" pantomime, only she wasn't playing a game.  Uncle Hayward grabbed her from behind, pulled her pants down, and put his tongue all over her bottom.  The food went flying through the air and Aunt Patsy started breathing again.  Grandpa proudly hugged me while whispering, "The Cecil's call that The Hind Lick Maneuver."  

So as we gather with our families this holiday to give thanks, keep in mind that gratitude releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the brain that makes us feel great.  Regular gratitude helps create a "virtuous cycle" in that the brain starts looking for more things to be grateful for, hoping to get that next rush.  I am super grateful for the odd things my family does.  I only hope I can live up to their legacy.

Tips on how to deal with the "crazy":
•  Avoid topics that will get you into trouble.  If you know Uncle Bobby always talks politics, make a joke out of it when he baits you.  Say, "Let's not talk about that, and give the rest of the family something to be thankful for."
•  Don't gobble till you wobble.  Tough order for Thanksgiving but think of it as a 2 day feast and know you can have leftovers.  Or, wear yoga pants. They are on my gratitude list.
•   Bite your tongue.  It's one day and better to leave feeling proud of how you showed up instead of dealing with the aftermath.
•  If someone offends you, ask them, "That really hurt my feelings. Think you could rephrase what you said in a way that shows you love me?"  Corny but it works.
•  Make your own fun to bring up the mood!

• Play a raucous family game Pit.
• Put people's faces in Jib Jab videos http://www.jibjab.com/holidays
• Test your Thanksgiving knowledge on this quiz http://www.lifescript.com/quizzes/holiday/test_your_thanksgiving_iq.aspx, 
• Get outside and play flag football, or run a turkey trot before your stuff your face.
• Watch the Thanksgiving Day parade and re-voice it with your running commentary.
• Pull out the karaoke machine and sing these songs about thanks - http://www.timeout.com/newyork/music/the-20-best-thanksgiving-songs. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

4 Tips So You Don't Lose It This Thanksgiving!

I have an uncle I see during the holidays who always picks me up and squeezes me so tight that I often feel bad for my panties.  Oh, the joys of family.  Because the holidays make people go nuts, here are 4 tips to put in your unbuckled tool belt which should keep you from losing it at turkey time.

1.  Take the Road Less Traveled.  Sheeeeez, while you're at it, take the easy road, it will make all the difference!  For instance, this year, I am NOT buying a turkey that I have to pluck. I shot my first bird just yesterday...scared everyone in the frozen food section.  Ok, for real, I will do things so that I am not a hot mess prepping all day, full of resentment.  I will buy pies from the bakery.   Slicing and dicing will go down 1-2 days before national-stuff-your-face day.  This year, crock pot stuffing recipe makes it debut (at the bottom of this post). 

2.  Make "The List." - “The List” has been a marriage saver.  When we have a party or holiday meal with lots to do, we “put it on the list.”   It is neutral and indicates what needs to be done without me "barking" orders.  Include it all:  pull out the card table, put in new candles, set the table, menu plan, grocery shop, brine turkey, prep veggies, string party lights, vacuum, and even the assignment for the errand person who will go out and find those cloves you forgot.  Go over it and divide up the duties with your partner. 

3.  Create a New Tradition.  This one is super easy - GRATITUDE ROLLS.  Have your guests write on parchment paper what they are grateful for and roll the paper in crescent rolls.  It's a poppin' fresh show at dinner. 

4.   Add Some Fun. 

• Have pie first in that hour and half when things are supposed to be ready but they're not.  "Desserts" is "stressed" spelled backwards. A little, sneaky slice makes for a sweet time.
• Tell a turkey tale around the table.  This is a variation on an improv game.  Someone starts with,"Jerry didn’t want to go to Grandma’s for Thanksgiving this year."  The next person adds to the story and so on and so on. OR The bird fell on the floor and...

• Have a stuffing-mix tape that includes thank you songs from a diverse group of artists:  Alanis Morissette, Earth Wind & Fire, Sam & Dave, Bob Marley, Abba and lots more.  Cook thing is that they play from Spotify on this link- http://www.timeout.com/newyork/music/the-20-best-thanksgiving-songs.

• Take pictures and put people into Thanksgiving Jib Jab videos. 

 

 Happy Thanksgiving from The Cecil-Braggs!  Party like it's 1621!

Bonus:
Slow Cooker Stuffing video 

Stress Less or Be a Hot Mess - Your Choice

It is Stress Awareness Day (in the UK).  In today's hectic world, it's hard to find someone who ISN'T stressed out.   Ever have so much stress it effects your health?  A few years ago I let some mean-girl mom behavior put me in a tizzy and developed stress-induced vertigo.  We had moved from NYC to DC, I'd left my six-figure job, had a newborn and three year old, and didn't have a support system.  I dropped a Target shopping cart down the escalator (not drunk) and knew I needed help.  The only thing the doctors could offer was a voyage to the valley of the dolls. Finally, my 7th doctor figured out that caffeine was triggering inner ear fluid and making me spin out of control. I opted to become friends with decaf and exercise my way to being grounded.   Now armed with positive psychology tools, I have other ways to whoop POW life to stress less so that I'm not a hot mess! 

SECOND-HAND STRESS.  Don't feed off other people's stress. We notice someones breath rates or that they're talking really quickly and we pick that up and mirror that.  Create a mantra when you are around people who are creating crazy.  I use - "This is not my circus and those are not my monkeys."

UNPLUG.  Over-checking social media and emails causes stress.  There will always be more to do.  Social media sites have even been linked to digital distress -- such as inducing feelings of loneliness among users. And staying plugged in to our devices can lead to work burnout and more. If you're looking to ditch the stress, disconnect from your device every once in a while. Take a break and actually talk to a human.

DEAL WITH IT.  Nothing makes those uneasy feelings stick around like avoiding what's worrying you. By not letting yourself react, you could be hurting your physical and mental health.  CONNECT TO YOUR FRIENDS REGULARLY, HIT THE WALL WITH A TOWEL, SEE A THERAPIST, OR A COACH.

GET OFF YOUR BUTT.  Sitting is the new smoking.  Sitting for hours on end is as bad for the heart as smoking, a recent study found.  GET UP EVERY 50 MINUTES AND STRETCH.  USE AN APP WITH AN ALARM FOR 50 MINUTES. Garmin Vivofit is a great fit band.

 

GET MORE SLEEP.  When you're tired, you feel alone. You compare and thing everyone has it better. You despair. You feel helpless. Studies show that people are more paranoid and sad when they don't get a good night's sleep. When you're tired, you're like a crazy person. Negative thoughts take over and life feels overwhelming. GET MORE SLEEP!


LAUGH - If you  can turn a tough time into a good story, you change the narrative in your head from victim to hero.  Now, I use the buggy for a workout, doing bicep curls while I lift the cart against the barriers.  This experience is how I got a personal shopper status at Target; when a security guard greets me, I give him my shopping list.