Why yes, Hillbilly at the Country Club could be a title for a new reality series. Consider the Duck Dynasty rage. Oh how we could sass up golf with some square dancing panties and facial hair.There I'd be in a tube top with a flashy sequin collar attachment, sashaying up to check in for tee time. I'd drop off my Dinah Shore clubs with the caddy and ask him where to toss my toothpick. While putting on my coon hide golf glove, the voice over would reveal brain chatter about past golf etiquette mishaps.
Addressing the ball with phrases like, "go, skeeter" and "come on baby" is not actually what Tiger Woods would consider "addressing" the ball. Or, would he?!
Don't worry about the chunks of scraped up dirt and lawn. Pour on the seed fertilizer divot ball concealer and they will magically disappear like the bags under my eyes after a little camouflage application.
Play with other people who are real good and suggest it be a game of "best ball" so you can score on par +5. That's good for me.
"Fore!" is fun to say super loud, like "sooey," but unless there are pigs nearby or you get a lucky shot, you're probably not going to shout out anything super loud except profanity.
Even though the guys behind us are teeing off into the fairway right next to me and we didn't "wave them up," probably best not to moon them.
This post is in honor of World Saunter Day, every year June 19. It is a holiday when we are supposed to enjoy a leisurely stroll. That's what I said with my overalls on the ground while the golfers behind us told us to put a move on it.
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