SHOULDA WOULDA COULDA

Someone recently asked me to talk about work-home balance.  I feel like a bit of a fraud shedding light on this one because it is an area that needs some attentions in my life.  While I'm cooking dinner, I often check my email, facebook, twitter.  I want to be here when the kids get home from school but often I'm still at my computer finalizing an edit, or an email, or a carpool, or an appointment.  When is enough enough?  We are all so busy.  People say the key is to create boundaries of when to do what and for how long with the goal of enjoying the present.

Something recently popped up in my positive psychology work that really speaks to me- STOP SHOULDING ALL OVER YOURSELF.   Eliminate what does not bring you JOY!  And I'll add to it, STOP SHOULDING ALL OVER YOUR KIDS.  Maybe your child shouldn't play 2 or 3 sports every season.  Maybe he or she won't play varsity soccer or God forbid, get into an ivy league school.  Maybe they'll be happy playing one sport and getting an education in something they want to pursue.  Same for you mom.  Same for me. Maybe I won't be the next big deal.  But I'll be me, being happy. 

As I try to balance work and home, I am trying to find what is right, right now.  My new practice is that every time I walk through a door, I think about what is good right now.  What can I be grateful for instead of what I should do to have something else.  There's my work-home balance tip:  STOP SHOULDING AND START BEING GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW.  All the should coulda woulda will fall away and give you more time to be present.   I like presents.