Keep The Love Alive

Ok, lovers, here are some ideas on how to keep the love alive for the long haul.  You can watch it (above) or read it (below).  Who loves ya?  I do, that's who. 

YOU MUST SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE and I'm not talking French or Italian.  There are 5 languages of love, according to relationship expert Gary Chapman:  touch, acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, and gifts.  Take their fun QUIZ @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/.  I've taken it 5 times in an effort to be multilingual.  

FRIENDSHIP IS THE FLAME OF ROMANCE:  Whether you are in a new relationship or you’ve been married for 20 years, scientist John Gottman, PhD of The Love Lab has found that friendship is the key for long term success.  When you first start dating someone, you are discovering who they are and it ignites a fire.  When you have been with someone for a while, you have to fan the fire by re-discovering the person.  Date your mate like a new love.  I'm not talking going to the movies.   Try new things.  Go play laser tag, take a class in how to do graffitti art, SHAKE UP THE SPRAY CAN.  Get out of your comfort zone with your partner and get to know him/her in a new way.    Need ideas - https://www.sidetour.com/


GET RID OF THE HOME WRECKERS.  Ok, while I am learning to speak-a the language o love, I've realized I've got a home wrecker in my house.  It is damaging my relationship with my husband and my children.  "You always cut me off."  "You never apologize first."  "You always have to get the last word."  New rule:  Unless you have 20 dates and times to prove your "always" or "never," you can not use them.  Never.  Kiss 'em goodbye.  According to relationship expert John Gottman, there are four horsemen of a relationship apocalypse, and I think bickering-hyperbole should be the 5th.  There are so many nuggets in his books, they should be required reading before marriage and once a year thereafter. 

BE A COLLECTOR OF EMOTIONAL MOMENTS.   So crazy for this phrase from psychologist Ross Parke:  “Life is like a string of pearls…collect those times when you feel totally present and connect with each other on a deep and meaningful level.”   One way to make better connections is to ask better questions.  Instead of “How was your day?” ask specific questions for specific answers. Tell me about your presentation.  Was there a time today when you felt unappreciated?   What was the part of your day that made you feel good? 

If you have more ideas or questions, send them my way... would love to hear ways you keep the love alive. Post your comments below or email me at cyndy@whoopiequeen.com.  And if you have questions, I've got answers on how to live the sweet life using positive psychology tips with a splash of whoop-pow!  Check out my new weekly segment, ASK CYNDY, on my website.  This week, advice on how to deal with a loved one who won't get off their cell phone.   Next week, a question about a husband that won't keep his underwear in the right place.  www.whoopiequeen.com

Happy Valentine's Day!

Cyndy, The Whoopie Queen 

31 Ways to Romance Your Lover

August is National Romance Month.  Never fear, The Whoopie Queen is here with ideas to make the last month of summer juicy like a watermelon.   

Romance is a verb - "to woo."   A few years back I was talking with a friend about how much effort a relationship requires.  She replied, "Yeah, but what's the alternative?!"  That is when it hit me.  Before I married Dan, we had a LOVE AFFAIR.  The alternative is terrible if we stop "wooing."  People settle into the doldrums of marriage.  Marriage is an "institution" and you know what happens to the people in institutions?  They are drugged and die slowly.  Instead, I suggest that couples be lovers.  They feel alive.  Lovers don't take each other for granted.  They appreciate each other.  They don't keep score.  They do things to keep interest peaked.  They flirt.  They text.  They call.  They write each other sexy notes.  They make plans to spend time together (especially without kids).  They hold a special place of honor for each ohter.  They get naked.  They have sex.   Yes, let's be lovers! 

So in honor of a steamy, sizzling, August Romance, I give you 31 Ways to Romance Your Lover this month:

1. Go to a photo booth and take make-out pics.
2. Book a sitter for a Saturday mid-day, have her get kids out of house and have afternoon delight.
3. Go for a walk in the park while eating popsicles.
4. Make a playlist for your lover.
5. Leave post-it love notes all over the inside of your lover's car.
6. Drive-in movie on back porch w/brown-sugar popcorn and flick on the ipad.
7. Send a whoopie gram to work - favorite candy bar with sexy note in briefcase.
8. Write each other Mad Libs Notes.  http://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/Sarina-Madlibs-MadAboutYouANDMadlyInLove.pdf
9. Drive separately & pick each other up at a bar. 
10. Make Your Lover's Favorite Ice Cream w/vanilla in the freezer & favorite candy bars on the ready.
11. Hold hands on a beach walk and talk about your fav beach trips. 
12. Leave a love note on the mirror, written with a Sharpie. It washes off.
13. Find a funny, laugh out loud card and mail it to your lover's office.
14. Make breakfast in bed FOR DINNER.
15. Walk arm-n-arm at a haunted location in your town.  In Georgetown, I want to visit The Exorcist steps. 
16. Make a list of reasons why you are grateful to be with your lover.  
17. Learn about the opposite sex and tell your lover about it.  http://www.medicinenet.com/18_secrets_men_want_you_to_know_pictures_slideshow/article.htm
18. Say to your lover when you awake in the morning:  "What can I do for you today that will make your life easier and less stressful?"  Then do it.
19. Flirt with your lover in an unusual place...in a store checkout line, while making dinner, while doing yard work...
20. Flash your lover.
21. Go through pics of your past together while listening to music.
22. Surprise your lover.
23. Dance together.  Salsa.  Swing.  Tango.
24. Send a sext message.  Just do it!
25. Ok, if you can't sext, send your lover a romantic line of poetry.  For a little help on the poem front:  http://ingenira.hubpages.com/hub/Romantic-Love-Quotes-for-Valentines-Day AND http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-love-poems.php.
26. Pour a glass of wine and take a stroll together through your neighborhood after dinner.
27. Grab some flesh.  A pat.  A squeeze.       
28. Shower together.
29. Have a secret phrase to tell you're lover he/she is hot, like “Are we due for an oil change?” No will know what it means but you.  (That's not our phrase!)
30. Go and kiss under the stars.
31. Make a love montage of couple pictures and frame it.

For more ideas:
http://www.thegloss.com/2008/04/28/fashion/101-romantic-things-to-do-with-your-partner/ 

http://www.wifemomsuperwoman.com/2012/10/01/30-non-cheesy-date-night-ideas/