Funny Things Are Everywhere - Dr. Seuss B'day is 3/2

From there to here from here to there funny things are everywhere. - Dr. Seuss.

A
few years ago, I swore off camping after we took a RV trip and our
engine caught on fire in the Blue Ridge Mountains, (insert crazy laugh
here).  The taxi driver who took us back to Cruise America Central was
missing a few teeth, drove with a liter of Mountain Dew between his
legs, and talked incessantly about taxidermy.  No judgement here because
my side of the family, the Cecil side, has a stuffed menagerie of
mounted deer head and large mouth bass.  However, I was not so
interested in hearing cabbie's discussion on the in's and out's of
"ripping the inners."   I would never stuff an animal but might find
enjoyment if someone else did, and hung a funny sign on it at a Nature
Center.  Yes, FUNNY THINGS ARE EVERYWHERE.



If you want to learn more about rules of
the road in a motor home, check out this video.  You'll learn how to do
the RV Stance, take a shower while moving, and suspend reality about
seat belts. 

Camping w Girl Scouts

Yeah, I broke down.  For the love of Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Buddha, and Oprah, I sucked it up and went CAMPING.  IN.  A.  CABIN.   It was for my daughter's Daisy troop.  There were twenty 7 year old's and twenty moms.   A mother's love knows no bounds.

Funny things there:
•  Driving to the hike was exhausting.
•  Seeing a guy hike while holding a beer bottle gave me flashbacks of Appalachia cabbie.
•  A fireplace with a sign that says, "No Fires In Fireplace."
•  Warning the pubescent park ranger to be careful because there were cougars on the loose.
•  Creating a Park Ranger Name formula.  First name is a National Park and last name is an outdoorsy brand.  I'm Smokey Coleman but am fiercely jealous of my friend's more courgarrrific name, Glacier Patagonia.

                   

 Making whoopie is the art of joyful merriment, or being crazy enough to make your own fun wherever you are, even with taxidermy. 

WHY START POSITIVE?

96% of the time the way a discussion begins can predict the way it will end.  

According to relationship expert John Gottoman, he can predict divorce with 91% accuracy after listening to couples for 5 minutes.  He runs the Love Lab and is the author The Relationship Cure and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.  What he found is that a HARSH START UP is an indicator for doom.  Imagine if you applied this theory to all your negotiations at work, with your friends, with your children.  Slow your roll and start up on a positive note.  Want an example?  Check out the video below about a gal asking for advice on how to get her husband to pick up his dirty underwear. 

 ASK CYNDY: 
The Best Way to Get What You Want 

ASK CYNDY fm last week - Get OFF Your Cell Phone

 

Want to be a change agent?  If you are interested in getting a certificate in applied positive psychology, there is a new certification program in New York starting with Emiliya Zhivotovskaya @  http://www.opencenter.org/positivepsychology/. 

Keep The Love Alive

Ok, lovers, here are some ideas on how to keep the love alive for the long haul.  You can watch it (above) or read it (below).  Who loves ya?  I do, that's who. 

YOU MUST SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE and I'm not talking French or Italian.  There are 5 languages of love, according to relationship expert Gary Chapman:  touch, acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, and gifts.  Take their fun QUIZ @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/.  I've taken it 5 times in an effort to be multilingual.  

FRIENDSHIP IS THE FLAME OF ROMANCE:  Whether you are in a new relationship or you’ve been married for 20 years, scientist John Gottman, PhD of The Love Lab has found that friendship is the key for long term success.  When you first start dating someone, you are discovering who they are and it ignites a fire.  When you have been with someone for a while, you have to fan the fire by re-discovering the person.  Date your mate like a new love.  I'm not talking going to the movies.   Try new things.  Go play laser tag, take a class in how to do graffitti art, SHAKE UP THE SPRAY CAN.  Get out of your comfort zone with your partner and get to know him/her in a new way.    Need ideas - https://www.sidetour.com/


GET RID OF THE HOME WRECKERS.  Ok, while I am learning to speak-a the language o love, I've realized I've got a home wrecker in my house.  It is damaging my relationship with my husband and my children.  "You always cut me off."  "You never apologize first."  "You always have to get the last word."  New rule:  Unless you have 20 dates and times to prove your "always" or "never," you can not use them.  Never.  Kiss 'em goodbye.  According to relationship expert John Gottman, there are four horsemen of a relationship apocalypse, and I think bickering-hyperbole should be the 5th.  There are so many nuggets in his books, they should be required reading before marriage and once a year thereafter. 

BE A COLLECTOR OF EMOTIONAL MOMENTS.   So crazy for this phrase from psychologist Ross Parke:  “Life is like a string of pearls…collect those times when you feel totally present and connect with each other on a deep and meaningful level.”   One way to make better connections is to ask better questions.  Instead of “How was your day?” ask specific questions for specific answers. Tell me about your presentation.  Was there a time today when you felt unappreciated?   What was the part of your day that made you feel good? 

If you have more ideas or questions, send them my way... would love to hear ways you keep the love alive. Post your comments below or email me at cyndy@whoopiequeen.com.  And if you have questions, I've got answers on how to live the sweet life using positive psychology tips with a splash of whoop-pow!  Check out my new weekly segment, ASK CYNDY, on my website.  This week, advice on how to deal with a loved one who won't get off their cell phone.   Next week, a question about a husband that won't keep his underwear in the right place.  www.whoopiequeen.com

Happy Valentine's Day!

Cyndy, The Whoopie Queen 

11 Ways to Rev Up the Romance

photo by Sari Fried-Fiori, sffphotography.com

Valentine's Day is just around the corner.  Never fear, The Whoopie Queen is here with ideas to rev up the romance.

Romance is a verb meaning "to woo."   Friends often ask me about how Dan and I keep the fires burning.  We have been together for 15 years and I still feel so lucky to wake up beside him every day.  There have been bumps along the way that include therapy and tears and fighting, and best of all, a deeper connection.  A relationship REQUIRES work.  They say marriage is an "institution" and I respond that people in institutions appear drugged and die slowly.  I want an alternative!  I want a love affair and that doesn't come easy.  It's called keeping the love ALIVE.  The best way to make sure love is in the air is to THINK LIKE A LOVER, not a wife or husband.  Lovers do things to keep interest peaked. They flirt. They text. They call.  They write each other sexy notes.  They make plans to spend time together (without the kids).  They hold a special place of honor for each other.  They are partners.  They get naked.  They have sex.  They woo.

I want to woo you too (not that way) to share what I've learned during the 47 years I've been on the planet.  Starting next week, I'll have a new series that will air on my website whoopiequeen.com - ASK CYNDY, THE WHOOPIE QUEEN.  They are short segments of advice using positive psychology tips with a splash of whoop POW.  This month the topic is LOVE.  Next month's topic is CREATING LUCK & GOOD FORTUNE.  Post your ?'s here as "anonymous" or use a fake name.  And you can always send ?'s to cyndy@whoopiequeen.com .

11 WAYS TO REV UP THE ROMANCE:

1. Leave post-it love notes all over the inside of your lover's car or inside a kitchen cabinet.
   
2. Ask better questions like, "What can I do for you today that will make your life easier and less stressful?"  Then do it.   Here's a great article about other questions that will "save your relationship."  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/the-questions-that-will-save-your-relationships_b_4618254.html
3. Make a playlist for your lover.   http://www.experiencecord.com/artists/our-valentines-day-playlist-new-school-love-songs/ 
   
4. Send a whoopie gram to work - favorite candy bar with sexy note in briefcase.
5. Drive separately & pick each other up at a bar. 
6. Find a funny, laugh out loud card and mail it to your lover's office.
7. Make breakfast for your luvr.  Heart shaped egg in a hole.
   
    
8. Do something different together.  Learn graffiti art, take an architecture tour of Gilded mansions, learn food photography at a street market, paint designer antlers (ha!), have dinner with a director, take a mob tour, and so much more.  Sidetour is a new site that offers unique excursions in lots of major cities including NY, Philly, Dallas, Boston, San Fran and more.  https://www.sidetour.com/washington 
    
   
9. Create a unique keepsake.  Here's a link to a cool photo puzzle http://allforthememories.com/blog/2014/1/20/diy-valentine-photo-puzzle  
   
   
     
10. Send a sext message.  Just do it!  Ok, if you can't sext, send your lover a romantic line of poetry.  For a little help on the poetry front:  http://ingenira.hubpages.com/hub/Romantic-Love-Quotes-for-Valentines-Day AND http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-love-poems.php.  
11. Write SEX on your luvr's to-do list.
    
    
    

Ancient Chinese Secrets to Good Fortune

How can you create good fortune?  Luck you long time.  That's right.  Believe that you are lucky.  Think that the good stuff is coming your way.  There's scientific proof it works.  In the  book The Luck Factor, by Richard Wiseman, there are oodles of studies on how mindset determines our fortune. 

In case you don't get to it, he outlines 4 principles:
1.  Maximize your chance opportunities.
2.  Listen to your lucky hunches.
3.  Expect good fortune.
4.  Turn bad luck into good.

Below are a a few more ideas to create good fortune that are tried and true.  They are life tested from my time involved in a women's empowerment group for ten years, and from 47 years of what I consider a life of great fortune.  Not really ancient Chinese secrets but they'll make ya go, "AHHHHHH, Calgone, take me away."  These ideas were presented at a speech I recently gave to a fab organization, FemCity DC.

More Ways to Make Good Fortune:

• Focus on what you want, not what you don't want.   This is the law of attraction here people.  It is the foundation of The Secret.  It is advice given by Conversations with God.  It is a principle I've learned in pursuing my positive psychology coursework.  And if that is not enough, Gandhi said it, "What you think, you become."

• Let the Bad Air Out – How do you stay joyful?  Know how to let the anger out. One way is to get physical.  Workout.  Move your body.  Hit the wall with a towel.  Some people need a more thoughtful process.  Journal.  Breathe.  Meditate.  Pray.  Drink.  Just kidding about the last one as a way to manage anger.  Might work for a while but not so good at really defusing the fuse.        

• Make Time For Yourself – Recharge your batteries. As they said in the Calgone commercials...ancient Chinese secret, ahhhhhhh.  We get depleted when we over serve others.  It is imperative to fill up with self care. Take baths. Manicures.  Walks.  Movies.  Lunch with a friend.  Art.  Fill up your cup with goodness.  
      

 • Have gratitude – Studies show the simple act of thinking grateful thoughts increases your serotonin and dopamine levels - those are the hormones that make you feel good.  When you get down with where you are and what you have, you make room for more goodness.  A few years back, I disliked being  a SAHM (stay at home mom), coming off of being a TV executive with nanny.  Then I got down with it and ate bon bons while I folded laundry and watched The View.  I embraced the time to BE, and became the most envied SAHM I knew.  Thereafter, it became the premise of my first standup comedy set.  
        

• Laugh – People who laugh seem happy.  One would think that about comedians, right?  In my travels at Showtime working with comedians, and more recently performing stand up at open mics, I've found that comedians are often highly cynical people.  Not a lot of joy.  But that is one of my goals at the mic...spread the joy.  If you've ever been to one of my performances, you know I have a good time laughing about my hillbilly relatives, my gray hairs, and my minivan.   Research shows that people who have big beams live longer.  Whoo hoo, that gives me more time to create good fortune.  

 

   Whoop POW!

10 Ways to Whoop POW Your Life!

1.  Never let anyone dull your sparkle.  Was in NYC last weekend and waiting in one of those velvet rope, poser lines to buy tix at Comedy Cellar.  Doorman said we couldn't get in.  My friend and I went upstairs to the cafe where there was a band and proceeded to dance in the aisles.  Next thing we knew, a man asked if we wanted to go downstairs to the comedy club and see Chris Rock!  I said hi to the doorman as we walked by with the owner!   Whoop POW!

Comedy Cellar w/Beth Elliott

2. Stand up to injustice!  March in the streets- or just yell at the dude illegally parked in the handicap spot.

3.  Give hugs!  Research shows that 8 hugs a day make ya feel happier. 

4.  Play dress up every chance you get -  jewelry, feather boas, body glitter, lipstick, pretty lingerie.  Lots o options!

Fun at Sax Restaurant in DC

5.  Walk up to the speaker at the meet-and-greet and say, "Hey, you're my hero.  Can we have coffee?"

6.  Invite an oddball to drinks with your friends and sit next to her.

7.  Always wear your invisible crown...unless you have a real one in your purse!  Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.  Buy yourself flowers, value what you think, enjoy being alone, trust you know best.  Here's a pic of me and the fabulous Yoga Nag Daisy Whittemore at lunch.  Tiaras were in my purse fluttering to get out.

8.  Go big or go home!  Have stand out hair:  streaks, spiked, pixie, glam, wig or BIG.  "Higher the hair, closer to heaven."

9.  Say NO.  When you don't want to do something, do not do it!   Best line ever:  It's just not going to work. If ya can't make it fun or something that fills up your cup, let someone else do it.  Hire someone to help, pass on it, or flat out say NO.  This is your life and your one time to run around on the planet. 

10.  Find your cape - either at the craft store or deep inside yourself.  Or both!  Whoop POW!