The Best Calorie Burner

Audrey Hepburn said LAUGHTER is the best calorie burner.  That's easy advice coming from a pixie.  The Whoopie Queen take on her quote is "Less stress + more fun = healthy person."  I continue to find that laughter and fun are the solutions to most challenges.  Here's an example.  I took my car to get serviced because the gas mileage was going down from 18 mpg to 12 mpg.  The service guy said the reason may be because "of the way I angle my foot on the pedal."  Really!  Did he think I was that gullible?!  Later when I called to see if they were finished with my car checkup, I told the service manager what the guy had said.  The manager offered, "Maybe he thought you drive with two feet."  I replied, "Sure, two left feet.  And maybe the mpg changes when I wear stilettos vs. flats."   He laughed.  The laughter diffused my stress and helped me dismiss his asinine input.   When I went to pick up the car, I wore a t-shirt that I knew would get a reaction and give me mature, uh hmmm, credibility, i.e., Old Hag.  I needed them to know I'd been around the block a few times.  As I left the dealership, a man waved me goodbye saying, "Have a great vacation!"  I told him I wasn't going anywhere except home to put the groceries away.  He said I seemed so full of joy, he thought I was heading to the beach.  Ha!

How did all this help?  I chose to make a joke in my response to them which made for LESS STRESS.   I chose MORE FUN by wearing a ridiculous t-shirt.  (It was between the Keep Those Old Hags Covered and the Nice Peaches tee).  I could have kept that angry energy of being dismissed and unleashed it on them.  I wanted to tell them off but I felt the negative energy in my body and knew that the nastiness would ripple into the world and I would get more negativity back.  Zen, right?!  Instead, I realized that they don't have a clue.  They're on car-repair crack.  I'll get a second opinion.  And guess what, without doing anything except choosing to wear a silly t-shirt, I burned at least 40 calories.  

I know this is far fetched but what if we could laugh ourselves thin (or at least a bit more fit). I have a friend in NYC teaching Laughing Yoga and it is quite the rage all over the world.  http://www.laughteryoga.org/english 

From How Stuff Works:  Laughing for 15 minutes a day (and not necessarily all at once) burns somewhere between 10 and 40 calories a day [source: Buchowski].  Over the course of a laughter-filled year, the daily calories burnt from laughing result in a net loss of a little more than 4 pounds. http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/calories-laughing1.htm

 
In fact, one study suggests that healthy children may laugh as much as 400 times per day, but adults tend to laugh only 15 times per day.   Kids know how to have fun.  Here are mine at the FUN. concert. 







So I challenge you to have more fun.  Ditch the diet.  Dance.  Lose the scale.  Laugh your ass off.

Call The Whoopie Queen Hotline if you're stuck and need ideas.  I'm a smarty pants. 
917)714-0694

More Calorie Burner Info:

On average, a 150-lb. person can expect to burn 536 calories during an hour of Zumba. By comparison, the same person would burn 413 calories during an hour of moderate swimming, 477 for an hour of casual racquetball and 684 for an hour of running at a 10-minute-mile pace.

The biggest burners

Calories burned per hour*
Based on a 160-pound person

1. 986 calories burned: Running at 8mph
2. 913 calories burned: Rollerblading
3. 730 calories burned: Tae Kwon Do
4. 730 calories burned: Jump rope
5. 657 calories burned: Stair treadmill
6. 584 calories burned: Jogging at 5mph
7. 511 calories burned: Backpacking
8. 511 calories burned: Racquetball
9. 511 calories burned: Cross-country skiing
10. 511 calories burned: High-impact aerobics

* Values from the Mayo Clinic Exercise for Weight Loss chart



Viola!

Hot Diggety Dog

It's so hot my bra won't stay hooked.
It's so hot that I'm washing my face with Seabreeze.
It's so hot Body Pump felt like Body DUMP.

The only real workout I had this week was teaching the Home Depot day-workers Zumba at 7am.  It was for a taping of a new webisode series, Whoopie Queen Pop-Up Comedy that is coming sooooooon.   Who knows where I'll pop up.  I might go to the DMV to do makeovers before people get their driver's license, or even take my monkey to Ikea.  Anderson Cooper said he is obsessed with this story.  See link *1 footnote.

In most of the Pop-up Comedy shots, I am "pitting out."  Oh that's HAWT!  My puppy is so hot he won't even play catch.  As the dog days of summer approach and in honor of National Hot Dog Day 7/23, I wish for you the joy of sitting on an A/C vent looking at doggie things that made me smile this week.  Free coupon at the bottom of this post from 7-eleven  for a free hot dog.  Whoop whoop!




A hot dog slicer I saw in the DRUG STORE.  Who needs THAT?!  And why is it in CVS?!
















The Bandit in a cape.


















 Snaugages with faces on them.  Pigs-in-a-blanket with Pillsbury Dough made by yours truly.  

The mom dancing in this ad is hi-larious.  She also serves birthday cake wearing an animal carcass.  I include it because there is a dog Stretchkin you can buy.  Link below. (*2)

God dag!   For some fabulous reason, I have a Swedish following with this blog.  Thank you Swedes!

 Picture at left was taken in Stockholm by

jooleeah_stahkey

The dog that looks like it has ice cream on it is actually two scoops of mashed potatoes.  On the bottom left, it is shrimp salad on a hot dog.










If you have a 7-Eleven Store nearby, you can pick up a sweet freebie on National Hotdog Day, on Tuesday July 23rd. You will need to download the FREE 7-Eleven Mobile App on your Apple Phone or Device here in order to receive the coupon for a free 1/8 lb HotDog on July 23rd from 7-Eleven











(*1) IKEA MONKEY
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/03/anderson-cooper-gives-crucial-update-on-ikea-monkey_n_3378478.html

(*2) STRETCHKINS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aKjdMiavXI

Derriere in the Air and Other Ways to Make Summer Sizzle

Left hand RED.  Right foot YELLOW. It's summer and that means Twister-under-the-sprinkler-time again.  The game where humans intertwine into pretzels made a bit of press recently.  The creator, Charles F. Foley, passed away on July 1st.  Twister's success story is inspiring.  In 1966, the game was considered too risque to be carried by Sears, the largest toy seller at the time.   Milton Bradley pulled the game.  However, the toy company's PR firm had already landed Twister on The Tonight Show, and the demonstration by Johnny Carson and sexy Eva Gabor created a frenzy.  Hooray for us!  Hook up the hose and let the fun begin.

Here are some other ways to keep the summer sizzling with fun:

•  7/27 Take Your Pants for a Walk Day - go for a walk in the woods, hike to a waterfall, stroll through a national park.  http://www.nps.gov/index.htm 







•  Slip n slide is a blast, especially after a beer.  Crank it up a notch and create your own Hershey Park with a chocolate covered slip n slide, Tosh style>.








•  Engage in water gun wars with the neighbors.  Ambushes are especially exciting at dinner time.  Make sure to have your guns loaded in an inside location to be on the ready for an ambush. 








•  Amp up your hot dog in honor of National Hot Dog Day 7/23.  Wrap it in bacon, add cole slaw and bbq sauce. 










•  Get on the water.  Duck Tours are fun.  Rent a boat.  Join a boat or sailing club.  We just joined Carefree Boat Club where after you get certified, ski boats, pontoon boats and sleeper boats are just a reservation away.  http://www.carefreeboats.com/?gclid=CNqM-endrLgCFYuk4AodfE8Awg

•  Throw a talent show which is produced by kids.  Grownups are chillin' and grillin'.  The children create tickets, hang a curtain, organize chairs, and practice for the "event."










 
•  Summer stretch:  Try something new.  Zip line.  Go-cart.  Putt-putt.  Monster Mini-Golf is on my list.  For locations:  http://www.monsterminigolf.com/

•  Take a tour in your town - I want to do the Ghost Tour of Georgetown in DC and the Lincoln Assassination Tour. 

•  Backyard Drive in Movie Party - rent a projector from the library, throw up a sheet, pop some popcorn and viola, movie time.  Make sure deet is readily available for all so that the skeeters don't ruin the fun.

Whoopie Wednesday: Foxy Cat Calls

I've noticed a bit of chatter recently on social media about cat calling.  Just today, a DC comedian posted a question wondering if it is ok for a woman to be called "foxy."  He thought it was wrong.  I, however, do not.  I feel whenever you get a shout-out, it is a gift.   The other day I was sashaying in my skirt to the movie theater and a homeless man asked, "Got any goodies up there?"  I laughed and said with a sass, "You know I do."

Maybe because I was a chubby kid, I don't assume I'm a looker and the shallow thrill of being noticed is, well, thrilling.  Every July the 4th holiday reminds me of when America celebrated her 200th year of independence.  I was an insecure 4th grader, waiting for the fireworks to paint the sky, hiding out with a band of kids at a family reunion when some loser called me fat.  I was the girl in P.E. that wasn't picked to be a square dancing partner.  (Yeah, we did square dancing for phys ed in my small, Southern town.)  So I don't beat myself up for liking a compliment.  When a construction worker whistles at me, I go around the block for another.

I bet some people are getting pissed at me right now because we women don't ask for these comments.  Does that make me shallow or backwards or dare I say, anti-feminist?  I realize some comments are gross and scary.  People who harass (to persistently annoy, attack, or bother somebody) should be sprayed with mace, at minimum.  However, the harmless prop keeps ya charged, lightens your step, and gives ya a kick to work that skirt.  At my age, I'll take it where I can get it.  Does that make me a woman with foxy, objectified goodies who owns it?  To me, that's freedom.   Would love to hear your thoughts...comment below. 

Happy Independence Day! 

Cat Calls from Mens Health Mag - "What's the Point?"   http://blogs.menshealth.com/mh-feminist/cat-calling-what%E2%80%99s-the-point/2011/06/02/ 

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